Saturday, July 25, 2009

Jupiter Gets Mugged

by Milky Way Maid

The planet Jupiter suffered a blow to the region of its southern pole earlier this week. The injury was discovered by an amateur astronomer in Australia. No witnesses are known to have seen the attack, nor is there any security videotape of the period when the attack occurred.

Anyone with information leading to the arrest of the perpetrator of this cowardly assault will be generously rewarded by the victim, Jupiter himself.

Meanwhile your prayers and best wishes for a speedy recovery will be greatly appreciated. Friends are pitching in to help with first aid; Saturn is sending a regular supply of ice till the swelling abates, Neptune has shipped medicines, Mercury has posted APBs (which Uranus has transferred to the internet), while the Moon is sending plenty of chicken soup. Venus is passing around a get-well card and buying flowers. Mars the cop is on the case, with Pluto offering his detective services.

The perp will do time!

For story of discovery of Jupiter's "assault and battery", please see the Times Online at

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