Friday, May 21, 2010

Jupiter Robbed of Belt in Broad Daylight; Planetary Police Have No Suspects

by Milky Way Maid, from actual news sources!

In what may have been a prank, the planet Jupiter's Southern Equatorial Belt (SEB) was 'disappeared' suddenly this week. The announcement of the missing belt was made by the British Astronomical Association's Jupiter Section on May 20.

There were no known witnesses, and no suspects are in custody. Jupiter himself, who is known as quite a jovial fellow, expressed no alarm at the loss of his belt, even though it is certain to cause untold embarrassment if his pants fall down.

“Oh, this sort of thing has happened many times before. The belt shows up again sooner or later, and no one is the worse for wear,” he said. “The last time was three years ago, and Saturn later returned it saying he needed it while his rings were invisible and he felt quite naked.”

Saturn denied taking the belt in this latest episode.
The Jupiter Section verified that the belt has had a checkered past, disappearing in 1973, 1989, 1993, and 2007. Astronomers remain mystified at the repeated disappearances.

However, it is my belief that these repeated thefts hint at a habitual kleptomaniac, and this perp may be in need of intensive therapy if apprehended.

Full story may be read at

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